Will the Oncologist Give Up on Your Loved One?

In my work, I hear it a lot…
“I’m 40 years old, I’m not going to reinvent myself now.”

And then there’s…
“I am going to retire in a few years, so let the new kids learn that stuff.”

And what about…
“My father died when I was six,” or “My wife had an affair and left me as a single dad with three kids,” or any number of other comments followed by: “This is just the way I am.”

Translation: “It’s the way I am, and it’s the way I am going to stay!”

Other times, I hear employees say it about their peers. “She’s too stuck in her ways to change,” or “He’s at the end of his career, so why would he change now?”

I have to admit, whenever I hear these types of excuses, my reaction is one of sadness.

I think of the head of oncology who operated on my brother. At the end of a full day of surgery, my brother was pronounced cancer-free and given more years of life — hopefully many more years. But, what if that oncologist had said, “He has pancreatic cancer. Few people survive. Why bother?” How did he know that my brother had a chance to live a longer life? He didn’t. He just never gave up.

I suspect the oncologist operates often and has many failures.
But what about the successes? What do the successes and failures have in common?

HOPE

We can be relatively certain that without intervention, the cancer patient will die.

Without intervention, we can be relatively certain that those saying change isn’t possible will be right.

It is true that we cannot change others. However, we can ask them, “Is this the way you want to stay?” “Is your current behavior helping or hurting you?” “Is your current behavior contributing to the situation in a positive or negative way?”

In our role as change agents, we must constantly ask how can we improve ourselves? How can we help others to improve? We cannot give up on the human potential to change and grow.

Hold onto hope, and don’t stop asking deep, provocative questions. Let me know about the people in your life whom you have seen grow and develop. I love success stories.

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