When a man is outspoken and direct in the workplace he is often described as passionate or ambitious. Men in the workplace are not first judged in a personal way, first considering whether he is kind or friendly and second deciding if he is capable. Why then, are women so often judged this way?
Like it or not, gender bias remains a strong undertone. Men and women and are expected to act differently in the home, in the community and the place where it impacts the budget the most: in the workplace.
Too often – if a woman operates in a strong and decisive fashion, she is described as ‘emotional’, ‘aggressive’ or ‘irritable’ and is generally not well liked. On the flip side, if she is friendly to everyone, she is well-liked but studies also show that in this case she is typically viewed as less competent.
I am the first to say that working women shouldn’t have to make a choice between being viewed as either: ‘nice and incompetent’ or ‘competent and disliked’. And while it upsets me that women should be judged based on competence, not likeablity, I am not going to ignore the reality. While we are working toward change, we must understand, even if we do not embrace, today’s reality.
Think about this “likeability penalty” in your own workplace. Are the men and women judged and treated exactly the same? Are their skills measured without any consideration of their ‘likeability’?
Sheryl Sandburg’s, “Lean In” was the catalyst for this article.
I have had both the joy and the opportunity to vacation in Nags Head, NC for the past 23 years. This year, we decided to go parasailing. While being suspended, I was able to see the island of Nags Head as an island. I saw the Kitty Hawk dunes where the Wright Brothers launched their plane. I saw the beauty of the island from another vantage point.
My work also gives me the opportunity to see companies from different vantage points. I notice who greets me in each place I work. The receptionist, or lack thereof, sets the tone of the workplace. I notice whether there is natural light, I notice what the lobby smells like, I notice the type of office furniture. While the physical surroundings aren’t the only determinant of the workplace culture, it sets the tone.
What does your workplace say about your culture?
Have you ever gotten mail or phone call telling you that you’ve won a cruise or timeshare? Likely you have. And likely you hung up the call or discarded the letter in the trash as ‘junk-mail’ without giving it a second thought.
Then again – if you had entered into the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes and got a call or letter saying you’ve won, you’d likely give it a bit more attention wouldn’t you?
…Why is this?
…This is because you know about this sweepstakes; you’ve heard about it for years and have continued to hear about how it has changed the lives of those who have won. In this case – you knew you were in the running for this award and the contest has credibility and importance in your mind.
Remember when you create spot awards for your employees – to do the same thing – make sure the employees know about it ahead of time; make sure they understand the importance of it and feel that it has some meaning and value when someone wins!
The next time you give out a spot award – remember to make it into a big deal. He might get red and be embarrassed but that’s okay. He will love it and everyone needs to hear it.
Of course you won’t mention the amount, just talk about all that he has taken on (literally name some of the work you know it). Talk about his “can do” attitude, his willingness to embrace change….etc. Make yourself a few talking notes before presenting it so that you know what you want to highlight.
The bottom line – don’t forget the balloons, the streamers, the ‘pomp and circumstance’ of the spot award. Build up the spot awards to be something that employees are excited about and strive to earn. This will go a long way to improve moral – and it’s fun!
