Natalie is a coaching client of mine, and the guest author of this week’s blog.
Karen and I were having our regular coaching session and during it I referred to myself as lazy. Karen stopped me, and for those of you who have worked with Karen, you know that when she stops you, you are about to get one of her thought provoking, oh so annoying questions.
Karen said, “So what does lazy mean?”
I said, “You know, lazy. I don’t do stuff.”
Karen wasn’t letting me off the hook. She said, “There are lots of reasons that people don’t do things. What are some of them?”
I told her that they might be busy. She agreed, and mentioned that they may have other priorities they rank higher. She continued, saying that “Lazy is a lazy word. It’s used when the person isn’t taking the time to explore the emotions that are creating the lack of action.”
We discussed that sometimes there are higher priorities than the task at hand. Sometimes there is fear of failure. Other times the task is overwhelming or just too darn tedious. There are a wealth of reasons why.
In this particular situation, I realized I was living in my sister’s shadow. She was always so much faster, more studious, more academic, so in fact, I was feeling fearful, again.
Karen gently reminded me that no one at my workplace knows my sister and those feelings, while real and valid, no longer need to be a part of what does or does not get accomplished in my work.
We explored comparisons, things our parents say and workplace fear a lot during that session. But what I realized most of all is that lazy is a lazy word that I use when I don’t want to do the emotional work to figure out what’s really going on for me.
What about you? What are your lazy words?
Natalie Warne is an Implementation Manager for a non-profit organization and her coaching has been focused on leadership skills and professional development. She loves her two cats, staying active, and spending time with her family and friends.
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