Last night I met with a young man for a business coaching session. He had come to me to discuss his career options, but as we were talking, all I noticed was he was very depressed. When I asked him what he was grateful for, he had a hard time coming up with anything. Eventually when I suggested we stay on this topic until he came up with something, he said he liked his new iPhone.

I was shocked! I looked at him and I thought, “He could be grateful for his good looks, his straight teeth, his job, his intellect, his mobility, his health. He could be grateful that he has a college degree and his employer is paying for him to receive coaching.”

Yet, he didn’t say any of those. When I asked him, he was dismissive and he was clearly taking all those things and much more for granted. It’s so easy to take our work and our lives for granted.

Of course, I do it too.

It’s easy for us to take for granted all that our organizations offer us. Sometimes when I am meeting with disgruntled employees and I ask them what they are grateful for, they stare into space. One of the companies where I am a vendor has incredible benefits, including:

Higher than marketplace compensation
Beautiful office space
Ability to work from home
Summer Fridays off
Great paid vacations
Superior health insurance
Pet insurance
Elder care support
Childcare on site
Full cafeteria, three meals a day
Laundry and dry cleaning on site

The managers and executive team often said that employees had it “too nice” and it was too cushy a job. While the managers and executives made that comment, none of them wanted to give up any of their benefits.

At this workplace, which I will refer to as “Cushy Place”, they served breakfast and lunch during my Presentation Skills and Diversity and Inclusion trainings. Since I don’t have time during a workshop to go out and purchase lunch, company-supported lunches meant that I didn’t need to pack one the night before and I could be more relaxed at lunch time.

I was so grateful! And then I worked there for several years and started getting accustomed to the perks the organization offered, even to contractors like me. I started to expect meals, I started to expect AV support for my presentations, I started to expect incredible support. One day, when the AV was late, I started to tell my client what a hardship it was for me.

I was mid sentence complaining, “I have to be able to rely….to rely on my ability to work with any situation that comes my way.” I course corrected, but I was on the wrong path. It’s human nature to grow accustomed to and to expect employer benefits.

Please send me a list of all that your company has to offer.

We cannot appreciate what we fail to notice.