Recently I conducted a retreat for a group that had a tendency to view their workplace problems in extremes. Having worked with the group before, I knew a discussion of polarity thinking would be helpful and introduced the topic by asking, “Is it better to inhale or exhale?” Of course the group said, “Both!” but the question led us quickly into a discussion of polarity thinking.

Often a group or a person can view options as extremes with nothing in between. For example, they might think something is either perfect or a total disaster, without considering any middle ground or other perspectives.

Polarity thinking seeks to avoid this by considering a “both/and” alternative. One way to avoid thinking in extremes is to ask yourself, “What is the converse?” When something appears to be negative, what can be positive about it? Or could both options be true?

For instance, in your professional life:

• You can not believe in the decision AND still get on board and support the team.
• You can give something your all AND still recognize it was not enough.
• You can want a new job AND still do great work in the job you are in.
• You can need a larger budget AND still accomplish a great deal with the budget you have.

And in your personal life:

• You can be resilient AND still need a break.
• You can be devoted and loyal AND still need to leave the group.
• You can be sure AND realize that things have changed.
• You can make the best possible decision at the time AND recognize that now you know more.

I know that in my life I benefit from seeing every situation, and especially disappointments, in a more balanced way. Does your team or department suffer from extreme thinking? How can you help them get “unstuck”? Please share your ideas!