A few months ago, I finished up a Conflict Resolution program and I was excited to head to my Zumba class and get some movement while listening to lively music. I took the empty space behind a woman named Rosalee whom I see regularly and she said, “Don’t stand behind me. I make a lot of mistakes. I don’t want you watching me.”

I responded evidently too abruptly, “No worries. I’m not looking at you.” As soon as I said it, I could tell from her facial expression that I had hurt her feelings. Thirty minutes or so passed and I walked over to her during a water break and proceeded to make things worse when I said to her, “I am sorry I said that and there’s no need to be self conscious, nobody cares what you are doing.”

Perhaps I had used up all of my tact and diplomacy earlier in the day during the conflict resolution program. I don’t know, but things were not getting better. I went back to my spot and kept dancing. What had happened to my manners? Why was she so sensitive? Why were these brief interactions going so poorly?

Months later, when we found ourselves in class again, Rosalee came up to me and she had a huge smile on her face. She said, “You don’t know this, but you really helped me.” Wow, this interaction was going significantly better than the last one! She proceeded without my prompting.

“I have always been way too sensitive. I realized when I left class that I was overthinking and worrying and I really did think everyone in the class was watching me. Now I realize how ridiculous that is. You were right. No one cares what I am doing and now months later, I am so much more focused just breathing in the great music. You have really helped me.”

Rosalee’s learning seems to be a message each one of us needs to constantly be reminding ourselves. Whether we are focusing on a business proposal, a presentation or an exercise class, most of the time our worries and overthinking get in our own way. The more we can think about what the client needs, what the audience came for, or what our purpose in the exercise class is, the more we allow that positive energy to flow.

The next time you find yourself overthinking, let’s set up a consultation so I can help you channel your inner Rosalee!