Last week, I wrote about a lunch moment that produced nervous laughter. When I later apologized to my sponsor for not being more assertive and questioning in the moment, he shrugged. “That’s just the way he is,” he assured me.

According to Edgar Schein, the most powerful level of culture is the underlying assumption or the taken-for-granted belief that becomes invisible over time.

“That’s just the way he is” is not a description, it’s an assumption. It says:

• This behavior is fixed.

• This behavior is tolerated.

• This behavior outranks discomfort.

And when an organization repeatedly excuses behavior from powerful people, it teaches everyone else what truly matters. It teaches them that harmony is valued over honesty, authority over respect, avoidance over questioning. Schein argued that leaders create culture primarily through what they pay attention to, measure, and tolerate.

In culture work, what isn’t said often matters more than what is. When nervous laughter happens and is left unaddressed, the underlying assumption is that silence is safe and questioning is dangerous.

As a result, over time, employees will adapt by editing and protecting themselves.

The culture becomes something no one explicitly designed but everyone follows.

Next week, I will explore how these small moments are mirrored in very public leadership moments every day.