An employee in a meeting I was facilitating felt comfortable telling her colleagues “I am nice at home, but I don’t have time to be nice at work.”

“What?!” I thought.  

As much as we sometimes think we have split personalities – that we are funny with friends, but serious with colleagues, or that we are sensitive at home, but tough as nails at work – we really don’t change that much from place to place. Years ago, my first consulting work was with a small company named Landa Associates. Landa was named after the founders and owners, Lane and Dave. They were, and still are, some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure to meet and work with.

To make my work easier, Lane wrote, edited, and published all of my slides and workbooks. I just told her the basic content and voilà, all the materials, laid out beautifully and professionally, would appear a few days later. Lane worked tirelessly to support me so that the programs would go without a hitch.

But it wasn’t just Lane. Dave knew that I was directionally impaired (this was before the days of GPS), and so he typed out directions to each client site for me. And, prior to meeting with a new client, Dave would ride with me to show me the location and where to park. This “little favor” took a couple of hours each time since our clients were spread across the DC metropolitan area. This was nice! And it made me more successful in the early years and our work together.  

I appreciated Lane and Dave immensely at the time, and that appreciation has not diminished after all these years.  

As I talk with employees who love their jobs, they often mention the “nice” people they interact with at work. Conversely, when employees leave their jobs, it is often because they didn’t have anyone they considered an ally, mentor, or friend at their organization. If you want a corporate culture of kindness and respect, it has to be modeled and practiced. It takes time. That’s what makes it nice.