Like over 30 million other Americans, I have been playing pickleball. I am bad. I don’t say that to be coy, modest, or kind, I am truly not a very good player. What I love about both my husband and the group I play with is they are very, very encouraging. I hear on the pickleball court in the evenings what I hear in organizations during the day, both the good and the bad.
For the most part I hear encouragement like “Good idea!” which is a lovely way to say, “You missed it, but you at least know where to stand.” Or “Good try!” Or “Now you’ve got it.” I am both amazed and impressed by the different ways this supportive group encourages.
One night I had a new partner. She was so kind and supportive of me, but when she herself missed the ball, she called herself an idiot, stupid, or a loser. Another player suggested, “If you start encouraging yourself the way you encourage Karen, your game will improve.” She heard the feedback and I can only imagine that her play has improved as well.
Sadly, not everyone in our group is so supportive. One member said to me “You have absolutely no hand eye coordination. You should hit against a board about 200 times a day, every day for about 3 months and then come back. My spouse did this and it helped.” My takeaway from that interaction was, “You need to learn about Carol Dweck and the growth mindset.”
Carol Dweck wrote a Mindset: A New Psychology of Success. In the book, Dweck says that those who see learning as an ever-evolving and fun process have greater life and career satisfaction. They aren’t expecting life to be easy so they aren’t easily frustrated when life becomes challenging. I discuss Dr. Dweck’s research in my programs and I use it in my life. I notice during performance discussions that those who are expecting work to be challenging are more open to feedback.
Now on the court I say to myself, “I don’t serve consistently, YET.” It’s helped my game. What growth mindset phrases have helped you in your work and life?
Twenty-five years ago, my husband and I moved into a newly-built house in a brand new neighborhood. There were just a few other residents at the time and there was a ton of construction. For the first three years, our streets were filled with dirt, noise, and construction workers. As each house was completed, we were excited to meet our neighbors.
We soon discovered that many of our neighbors had children the same ages as ours and that we also shared similar interests. We kept seeing these same neighbors while waiting at the bus stop with our children, while volunteering in the schools, while working out at the gym, and while shopping for groceries. They seemed to be everywhere! If we hadn’t liked them, it would have been a problem, but we not only liked them, we loved and cherished our newly-formed relationships.
As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. Informal relationships, where people in close proximity engage in frequent interactions and bond with one another, happen at work as well. This phenomenon has been studied and can actually lead to what is called proximity bias. Proximity bias is when those who are physically closer to company leaders enjoy greater influence and advancement opportunities. Unfortunately proximity bias can create a less equitable work environment since remote employees can feel like their career trajectory lags behind their in-office peers, simply because they are less visible.
So, how can organizations encourage a thriving in-person office community while at the same time offering an inclusive environment for remote workers?
As with many challenges, the first step is to begin talking about the issue. Through open and honest communication, obstacles can be identified and solutions proposed.
It’s very helpful for meetings to include a virtual option, and information sharing should be done both in writing, and when possible, in person. Written documentation of all communication should be shared through a central digital platform.
In order to ensure that promotion decisions and bonus opportunities are fair, it is critical that performance appraisals measure and analyze an employee’s full impact.
Concordia Consulting can help your organization with the new challenges of a post-pandemic workplace. And, if your business is successfully navigating the demands of in-person, hybrid, and remote work, please share your achievements with us!
I just came back from a big adventure and am eager to share my experiences and pictures with you, but for now there’s a more immediate message. I had just returned to the US (and this time zone!) Sunday night when I joined millions of other Americans to watch the Super Bowl and shake off some jet lag. Although I usually just watch the commercials, this year the game was actually worth watching! It was during the commercials that I learned that saying “You are a rock star!” is passe, at least according to the featured rock stars.
I have a neighbor whose son is an actual rocket scientist, and when you ask her what he is doing she says, “He’s a rocket engineer. For him, it really is rocket science.”
You probably know me well enough to realize that if you can’t say someone is a rock star, and your son or daughter are not rocket scientists, I will be glad to offer you other words of praise to compliment your colleagues and to show your appreciation.
Thus, let me take this opportunity to share some phrases of thoughtful recognition:
- You rock!
- Your work on this product was awesome.
- I appreciate the expertise you have in this area.
- You bring a skill to this project that none of the rest of us possess.
There’s another term that while well-intentioned, some consider offensive. It’s referring to a woman as a “badass.” While once considered a compliment, now some women say, “Can’t you recognize my efforts without referring to me in loaded terminology?” This article underscores the concern.
So, should you stop calling someone a rock star? That is probably not necessary. In fact, it may be even more popular now than before thanks to the Super Bowl commercial, but eliminating badass from your lexicon is a good idea! And giving sincere words of praise is always welcomed. What are your favorite compliments for others?
