For those of you who are long time readers, you will notice that I frequently write blogs on positivity, appreciation, and gratitude. In general, I try to model those qualities when approaching challenges in my work and personal life.
So, is there ever a time when we should all stop and shout, “Enough is enough!” “This doesn’t make any sense!” “I am fed up!” The answer is yes, and the research on the negative effects of what can be referred to as toxic positivity are clear.
I had a situation three years ago with a colleague and it wasn’t positive. Okay, I will say it: It was negative. Soon after the encounter, I was retelling the experience to my friend Patty and we were rolling around in the verbal upset. Neither of us liked where we were going, and then Patty said, “Can we just say it was awful?” Yes! It was awful!
Kate Bowler, a bestselling author who studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves, said in her recent podcast that “positivity becomes toxic when it prevents us from being able to speak honestly about our circumstances.”
I wish for you a life full of happiness, but I also know that is not always possible. I hope that these phrases will help you be where you are while moving forward to a legitimate place of feeling better, day by day.
In order to create a respectful and inclusive culture, organizations need to provide regular diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) training. But once you have had that basic training, how can you mix it up and make it relevant year after year?
At Concordia Consulting, we have found a way! We have adapted actual situations that we have been asked to remedy by changing them just enough to protect those involved. Then we implement the scenarios using a case-study approach to bring our training to life.
Want to try one?
A pharmaceutical representative, Leila, went to the office of a Caucasian doctor associated with a large teaching hospital. While Leila was making her drug presentation, the doctor asked, “So, what are you?” referring to Leila’s racial background. Leila reported the incident to her company’s CEO.
- Should Leila have responded to the doctor?
- How should the CEO respond?
- What further actions, if any, should be taken?
Have you ever witnessed a similar situation in your organization? Please let me know how you would deal with this scenario, as well as how effectively you think your organization might handle it. We will be sharing similar experiences in the months to come. If you would like facilitated training with us, we will customize a program specifically for your organization’s circumstances and culture.
Thanksgiving has always been one of my very favorite holidays. I like the family time where we all sit around making suggestions about what we should do together. Usually nothing actually happens — it’s so predictable that it is fun! I love the aromas and I am especially delighted when I smell apples and cinnamon baking together, wafting through the house. It blankets me in peace and sugar.
When I first heard the word “Friendsgiving” I thought, “This is in addition to, not in lieu of Thanksgiving, right?” Now that we have started inviting friends in addition to family to our Thanksgiving, I am a delighted enthusiast of Friendsgiving.
I have come to realize the blessing of those wonderful friends! It was even easier to embrace Friendsgiving when I realized how these friends have become a tapestry of our entire family’s lives. Oh how I love those adopted young adults that have brought joy to our nuclear family!
And if there’s going to be Thanksgiving with family, and Friendsgiving with friends, I would like to propose Worksgiving. For Worksgiving, my list of gratitudes is as long as the other two categories. Here goes…
I am thankful for fulfilling work that helps people improve their work lives and often transcends into their personal lives. If you are receiving this, you have touched my life and I want to hear from you again.
To the clients who have hired me or are planning on hiring me, I am oh, so grateful. Without you, there would be no Concordia! And where would I get the money to buy the turkey, the apples, and the cinnamon? Thank you for your trust. And thank you for the referrals; they are my life boat and they mean the world to me!
I am thankful to work with the most creative, caring, giving, and flexible people on the planet! Thank you to Keri, Mary, Pam, and Sylvia.
I am so, so grateful to the NSA-DC as well as my NSA national friends. You text, message, call, and email so often with support, encouragement, and laughter. You are an extroverted and loquacious group that challenges me to try new things and dip my toe in new processes.
Please make your own gratitude list and pass it on. Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, and Worksgiving — all wonderful excuses to express appreciation.
Let me hear from you as you tell me what you appreciate, and please pass the apples and cinnamon.